CONFLICT RESOLUTION: INTERPERSONAL PROBLEM SOLVING

CONFLICT RESOLUTION: INTERPERSONAL PROBLEM SOLVING

 An interpersonal conflict is a state of disharmony between two or more people (Girard & Koch, 1996). It exists when incompatible activities occur (Deutsch, 1973), or when one person or group attempts to maximize advantages at the expense of others (Johnson & Johnson, 1991). People who live together in societies who have variety of values, beliefs, wants, and needs are naturally going to come in conflict on occasion. It makes sense, then, that you include conflict resolution in your social studies curriculum in order to help students understand the nature of conflict and the forces that affect all human endeavors. Also, and perhaps most important, inclusion of this will provide students with the skills necessary to constructively deal with the conflict they will encounter in their own lives.

It is a mistake to think that all conflict should be avoided. Indeed, there are many benefits to conflict. Conflict prevents stagnation and creates the conditions for evolution and growth. Confronting conflict allows for the examination and airing of problems that might have gone unnoticed. Also, the conflict that sometimes occurs between students in schools at recess and other free time is normal and can play an important part in students’ development. These situations provide opportunities for students to begin to learn how to manage their differences and resolve disputes. Often times there is the temptation for you to jump in and solve these types of problems for students, however, this robs them of the learning experience. Instead, teach your students the knowledge and skills necessary to solve their own problems and resolve their own conflicts.

Sources of Conflict:
Deutsch (1973) describes five sources of conflict: resources, preferences and nuisance, values, beliefs, and forces within a relationship. These types of conflict occur between individuals, families, groups, communities, societies, religions, and nations. Understanding the source of conflict is the first step in resolving it or sometimes avoiding it.
Resources. Conflict can take place when resources are limited or when they are perceived as limited and when two or more people or groups want them. For example, in the community of nations, conflicts are often created when one country hoards or controls resources such as land, oil, economic power, food, jobs, water, or access to natural resources. Cooperation and collaboration are the most effective ways to avoid these kinds of conflict. Likewise, countries that strive only to compete economically on the world market at the expense of others create winners and losers and thus, insure conflict. Conflict can costs a great deal in terms of time and resources.
On the interpersonal level conflict often arises when people mistakenly think that success, acceptance, or friendship are limited resources. You can avoid a great deal of interpersonal conflict in your classroom by helping students understand that these are in unlimited supply.

There are three strategies to use here:
• Make sure that all students experience success in some area. Do this by expanding the
definition of intelligence and including multiple ways for students to demonstrate their knowledge.

• Interact with all students using unconditional positive regard (Rogers, 1961). Let them know that they are accepted for being who they are.

• Teach students the social skills necessary to be a good friend so that they will have a  world of friends with which to interact.

Preferences and nuisance: Conflict can take place when the activities or tastes of one group impinge upon another’s preferences or when they become a nuisance or impediment to another’s goal. For example, in the world community, this type of conflict is created when the corporate or economic interests of one country impinge upon the religious or cultural interests of another country. This type of conflict also occurs when what one person or group is doing gets in the way of what another person or group is trying to do. For example, if you were trying to study and your neighbor was having a loud party. Strategies for these types of conflicts start with helping each party to respect the rights and dignity of the other. Resolution usually involves stopping the offending behavior or some type of segregation.

Values:A value is a trait, quality, entity, practice, or experience that one deems important. Conflict often arises when people’s values are at variance with another’s. However, simply having different values does not create conflict. Instead, conflict occurs when one’s values are forced on another or when another’s values are demeaned or depreciated. For example, a group may value the practice of daily silent meditation. Conflict would be created if this group were to insist that all should adopt this practice or if they were to demean or depreciate those who did not engage in or value this practice.
Values-based conflict occurs also when one person or group uses power or influence to insure their values are the predominant ones. An important point regarding democratic ideals that is often missed in social studies education is that a democracy is different than majority rules. A democracy is designed to protect the rights of the minority and as such, has a system of checks and balances. Even though the majority of citizens may agree with a particular issue, a democratic government protects the constitutional rights of all citizens, especially those in the minority.

Beliefs and belief systems:Conflict can occur when there is a difference in what people believe to be true related to data or perceptions. However, it is not the difference in beliefs or belief systems that causes conflict, rather, it is when one person or group insists that theirs’ are correct and that others must adopt them or adhere to a similar world view.

Forces within a relationship:The last type of conflict is created when there are opposing views or desires within a relationship. Relationship here is can be defined as two or more people co-existing as a unit. It could be an interpersonal relationship with two people, or a group, family, or society. Conflict occurs when groups or people want to go different ways or have goals that conflict with each other’s.

Conflict Behaviors:
There are five methods of dealing with conflict: competing, accommodating, avoiding, compromising, and collaborating (Girard & Koch, 1996; Johnson, & Johnson, 1991; Vanzandt & Hayslip, 1995). For younger children, these can be represented as the shark, teddy bear, turtle, fox, and owl. These five behaviors vary on the dimensions of assertiveness and cooperation as well as whether their primary emphasis is outcome or relationship

Competing: The shark seeks to resolve conflict by overpowering and attacking the other disputant who is seen as an opponent and not a partner. This conflict behavior can be the most destructive as it creates a win-lose situation with the primary emphasis on outcomes over relationship.

Accommodating:The teddy bear seeks to resolve conflict by giving up his or her own goals in favor of others’. This conflict behavior creates a lose-win situation with the teddy bear most often being the loser. Relationships are seen as more important than one’s own needs or outcome. Sharks and teddy bears may appear to get along initially, however, only one party wins and without meaningful conflict resolution there is little change or growth.
Avoiding. The turtle seeks to resolve conflict by avoiding it. There are times when this is the most prudent course of action. However, in the long term turtle behaviors do not advance outcomes or relationships. In this sense, turtles can be just as destructive as sharks.
Compromising. The fox seeks to resolve conflict by giving up some of his or her original goals and by persuading the other disputant to do the same. This approach tends to value some outcome and some relationship.
Collaborating. The owl seeks to resolving conflict by confronting it as a problem to be solved in cooperation with an equal partner. Collaboration is the highest form of conflict resolution as it creates only winners and it allows programs, processes, and relationships to evolve.
Conflict Resolutions Strategies to Teach Students
This section describes seven conflict strategies that can be taught to students in elementary and middle school settings. The goal in teaching these strategies is for students to be able to transfer these skills to real life situations (Woody, 2001).
Avoiding conflict. The best way to resolve a conflict is to avoid one when possible. Understanding the five sources of conflict helps in this. For example, insisting that others share your values will cause conflict. Knowing this, one would hopefully go forward in a manner that would respect the values of another group or person.

Resolving conflict using the six-step collaboration process:The six-step collaboration process works if both parties are willing to work together. The graphic organizer in Figure 2 can be used to guide students’ thinking through each step: First, identify the source of the conflict. Second, each side lists their wants and needs related to the conflict. Third, both parties brainstorm in order to generate a wide variety of ideas for possible solutions. Fourth, identify the three best solutions. Fifth, evaluate each solution on the basis of costs and rewards for each party. And finally, select the solution that offers the most benefits and the least costs for implementation. Then implement the solution and revised and refined as necessary.

Negotiating conflict:The steps to negotiating resolution of conflict here are based on Johnson and Johnson’s (1991) conflict resolution model: First, confront the disputant. Describe your view of the conflict, express your feelings, and invite the other to do the same. Second, jointly define the conflict as a problem that can be solved. Do not label or insult, rather, identify the source of conflict. Third, communicate positions and feelings. Each party describes their view of the situation, their feelings relative to the situation, and what they see as points of agreement and disagreement. It is important that each listen respectfully as the other speaks. Fourth, communicate cooperative intent and explore possibilities. This is where you work together to generate ideas for a possible solution. The problems solving strategies described in Chapter 9 are effective here. Fifth, each take the others’ perspective. During this step, each should take the perspective of the other in identifying what they want. This helps in evaluating possible solutions. And finally, reach an agreement. Decide on a solution or combination of solutions that seems to provide each person or party with what they seek.

Conflict resolution bridge: The conflict resolution bridge works best with younger students. A bridge similar to that is created on the playground or in the classroom. The playground bridge might be created with paint on a sidewalk or other hard surface.The classroom bridge might be created with tape. The bridge should be big enough for a student to stand in each space. Students with a conflict start on each side of the bridge. In the first square, students describe what they want in terms of the conflict. In the second square students describe their feelings. (“When you ___, I feel ___.”) In the third square each student restates the position of the other. This square invites students to take the perspective of the other person in the dispute. In the fourth square students generate ideas for solutions. Finally, students pick an idea in which they both agree, meet in the middle, and shake hands

TRIBE: TRIBE is a conflict resolution strategy designed to help older students mediate differences that may lead to violence (Edelman, Liss, Coggins, & Rios, 1994).

The steps for guiding students through the process of resolving a conflict:

T - Tell what’s up. Say something positive and ask the other if he or she is willing to talk. Try to control your emotions and your voice as you describe the problem. Do not criticize or place blame.

The following sentence can be used as a template to help students: “When ______, I feel ______ because ______. I’d like to talk about it.”

R - Reflect and listen to the response. Stop talking. Allow the other person to tell his or her side. Try to put yourself in the other person’s place. You do not have to agree, but you must try to understand. At the end, restate the other’s position and feelings.

I - Identify what is important. Both parties identify what issues are really important and what they want as a result.

B - Brainstorm possible solutions. Generate as many ideas as possible. Accept all ideas without judgment. Piggybacking, where students build on an idea that has already been stated, should be encouraged.

E - Evaluate solutions. Read the list out loud. Look for ideas that seem to work for both parties. Pick the solution that seems to be the most workable. Be specific. For larger conflicts and more complex resolutions, write up a specific contract that describes the solution and all conditions. Both sides would then sign the contract.

Peer mediation: A peer mediation program is one in which groups of students are taught to mediate disputes among their peers (Willis, 1993). Students in conflict come to peer mediators to get help in resolving conflicts. The mediators work alone or in pairs and use many of the same skills as described above.